Accept yourself the way you are, and then improve

We grow up with parents. Parents tend to nag, criticize, punish, reprimand, twist arm, ears and everything possible to correct our behavior.

Then we go to schools and meet teachers who take place parents in doing the same things to you.

So most kids grow up with a criticizing voice in their head reprimanding them for behaviors they think are not appropriate. This happens a lot with empathetic people. They would like to correct their behavior so much that they develop a part of their personality who mimics their naggings and punishing parents or the teachers.

This voice, if left undiagnosed, doesn't allow one to know and accept themselves fully. This voice is useful, mind you, for it will stop you from doing things detrimental to you. for example, this voice will stop you from harming someone just because you like until you find a better way to mold your personality which is by reading about ethics.

Sometimes, this voice can leave one cripped in their behavior because if left undiagnosed, the person who has developed a part of their personality with this voice will keep beating themselves over small issues.

Result: an unhappy overtly criticizing person who is not able to explore the breadth of their personality.

If you identify with someone who could probably have a voice inside of you like that, here is something that could help you:

Accept this voice at all costs. When you know that this voice is a part of your personality and essentially it is you only, you will make space for it. From now onwards, you begin to recognize it whenever it is there.

Recognition is the first step towards solution for a particular challenging situation.

Be very gentle while dealing with this voice. This voice has a lot of stored memory. It has been forming ever since you were a child. It possesses intelligence beyond your comprehension.

Understand the depth of intelligence of this voice. This voice knows your behavior like the back of your palm.

Step 2: Please understand that you can't fight fire with fire.

You can't fight this voice by suppressing it. Ever tried fighting with your parents or teachers? If you are a conscious human being, you will regret doing that. Meet any spiritual person and they will tell you the easiest way to live life is to go with the flow. One of the most effective forms of martial arts is Judo where you use your opponent's momentum to throw them off balance.

Step 3: Whenever you hear this nagging voice, gather intelligence from it.

Like I said, this voice has been with you ever since you were a child. It possesses intelligence about you beyond your comprehension.

Whenever you notice this voice, and you will notice this voice whenever you are not at ease. Being at ease is your most natural state. Whatever throws you off track is where you meditate.

The most crucial step: Ask this voice to relax and tell it subtly that you got this.

This voice is trying to correct your behavior. This voice has made you a responsible adult. This voice protected you from throwing yourself in fire, towards oncoming traffic, off buildings, towards dangerous animals and people. Respect it.

Accept it and respect it, because you are not aware how many times this voice has kept you on track and prevented you from either going to jail or from physical harm

But here is what this voice needs to know. This voice needs to know that you are a thinking person now. Whenever you hear this voice, accept it, learn from it, hear what it is trying to tell you, see if you can derive benefit from the intelligence, then respectfully ask this voice to relax.

Because you got it from now on.

Thanks for reading.

Sincerely yours

Siddharth Soni